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What a long and winding
road it has been traveling to this phase of my life!
I married young at 19 and had my daughter when I was 22,
my son when I was 25. As I grew more and more
dissatisfied with portions of my life, I started reading
self-help books and taking many holistic classes to
learn about my emotions, what thoughts and beliefs were
causing my inner turmoil, and what I could do to change
them to improve my life...
I found
that my outward actions and reactions to life were based upon deep
unconscious beliefs I "owned," most of which were formed from my
perceptions of my early interactions with my environment; i.e. parents,
siblings, other relatives, teachers, neighbors, etc.
What an
unraveling process it has been (and continues to be)! Finally waking
up to the TRUTHS previously locked inside yourself is not always easy.
New perceptions usually call for change, and you KNOW how we all LOVE to
change! 
LOL
That
said, I finally divorced my first husband of 18 1/2 years in the summer of
1998, and only months later married the love of my life, Rob.
My new more awakened life began...
Leaving
my former life was the first of many hard decisions I've chosen to make in
order to live as authentically true to myself as possible.
I'm here to tell you that it takes LOTS
of courage and belief in yourself to do so - WHEW!
Because I now love and respect myself
enough to be my OWN authority, I no longer allow into my life other people's
guilts, judgmentalness, negativity, manipulations, dishonesty, fakeness,
talk and action contradictions, double standards, back stabbing,
codependence, lack of accountability, and otherwise dysfunctional behavior.
I'm not very popular anymore with those who were attached to making me a
clone of THEIR beliefs of how and who I should be (including some
family members)!
If I want to experience the most
harmonious, the most positive, the highest and the best that I possibly
can, I believe it is MY responsibility to create that in my own
life (no one else will do it, right?!).
So... I "cleaned house." The
people who had proven by their continued actions that they didn't
have and weren't willing to even work on the same types of ideals for an
HONEST relationship with me are no longer a part of my life.
I walked away and still do when needed.
"Live and let live."
This letting go and rebuilding process has
NOT been smooth or easy, and has brought up many raging emotions that I
don't believe ANY of us want to feel or face. Anger, rage,
self-righteousness, hurt, sadness, outrage, depression, self-hatred, loss,
feeling unsupported, disconnected... to name a few.
At this point, I continue to get stronger,
I continue to learn, I continue to grow and change... none of which would be
possible without the unconditional love and support of my husband, Rob.
Together, we can accomplish ANYTHING!
I believe that every one of us were born
with a unique mission or purpose in life.
Look to your greatest challenges, your
greatest growth, your greatest joys and accomplishments... therein lies
YOUR mission. How can you help others take a shorter road than you
did?
In learning to love, respect, help, and
support myself first, I learned to share more of those qualities with
others. If, after reviewing my site, you'd like me to help YOU in some way, please send me a
message here.
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